Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
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