She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
