She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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