i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
