I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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