her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Randomize
