yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
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