I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I want her autograph on my taint
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
