I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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