I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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