White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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