my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
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