Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I still have a little drunk in my system
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
