in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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