porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Randomize
