She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
