Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Randomize
