Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
