I'm gonna have a badass scar
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Randomize
