he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
