I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
