She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
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