Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
my poor anus
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
