And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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