is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Randomize
