What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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