Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Randomize
