I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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