everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
