I just found puke in my bra..
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Randomize
