Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
