did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
did i walk over a car last night?
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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