i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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