I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Randomize
