pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
you told grandpa to call you daddy
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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