how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
i think i have herpe
just one?
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
