i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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