just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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