It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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