how hairy? two words: wookie tits
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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