he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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