Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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