the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
