Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
