on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
