just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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