You're completely useless in the revolution.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Randomize
