Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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