ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Randomize
