She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
