My pussy is not your playground.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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