I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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