to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
